On Death

Its weird but my mum actually talked to me about her death before. She told me she wants her ashes to be scattered into the sea. She doesnt want any wake as she feels it is all done for th e living. She even told me that she will come "see" me after she pass away... Haha but i told her not to as i will be scared... Maybe thats why she didnt visit on the 7th day of her death. We all slept super early that night so that my mum can come back to see us. I couldnt sleep that night though, turning here and there. Honestly i was a bit afraid but yet i wanted to see her, to talk to her. But in the end, nothing happened, just another normal night. But i heard people say that if you dun dream or see the decease, it means they have left happily. I hope my mum has left happily and she is in a better place. As much as i miss her, it is only my own selfishness that i want to keep her. She would be much happier on the other side where she can have "power" to bless us.

On the day of her ash collection, we went to mandai to collect the ashes. We each picked a bone from her leg. The bones had yellow particulates on them and accordingly to the undertaker, they were deposits from the huge amount of medicine my mum has consumed. It pains me to see how yellow the bones were....

We placed the ashes wrapped in a red cloth with a incense on it. After which i drove to Changi Jetty to take a boat out to sea. It was raining in the morning and we were all quite worried that we would not be able to go out to sea, but miraculously, it stopped raining when we reached Changi Jetty. The boat was rather shaky when we stopped and i nearly fell down a few times. But once the monk prayed to the Sea Dragon King God, the boat kind of stablise. After which i was suppose to light some candles, but the wind was strong and i had problem keeping them lighted. Surprising, one of the candles kept on lighting till the end...We did the ritual and prayer and my brother and i lowered the ashes into the sea....

We scattered flowers into the sea and the boat circled 3 rounds around that area. My mum was free to travel...... She is now free like a fish, free from all sufferings.... Mum you will always be in our heart and we know that you stopped the rain for us to complete the ritual out at sea. Thanks for helping us to fulfill your last wishes. After we reached land, it started to rain again, haha mum you are really great, you purposely block out that period to stop raining for us...

Mum travel the seas, enjoy yourself. You will always be in our heart!!!